Saturday, January 24, 2009

on waiting

It seems like a greater-than-average proportion of my life is spent waiting lately. The days seemed to last forever back in October and November, when we knew we were pregnant, then knew it was TWINS, and were still waiting to tell people. I checked books and websites religiously to see how much the babies were growing every week--first they were the size of the head of a pin...then a poppy seed...then a sesame seed... It was amazing the week they hit an inch long. I think that was 8 weeks or so.

So there is the waiting to tell people, along with the waiting to be out of the "danger zone" of the first trimester. And the waiting until you finally feel pregnant, and finally LOOK pregnant. The waiting to feel them move. And then the waiting until you can find out what they are. And, different but still substantial, the waiting at doctor's appointments! We spent two and a half hours on Wednesday waiting for a ten-minute appointment--and that has not been the first time, nor will it be the last. As time gets closer and I have more frequent appointments and ultrasounds, I don't even want to think about how much I'll be there. I may take a cue from another patient next time and bring dinner...

But the ultimate paradox is that this process of making human beings goes by ridiculously fast. The pregnancy is halfway over. A very short time ago our lives were very different, and a very short time from now our lives will be indistinguishable from anything we've known before. The babies have gone from poppy seeds to nearly a pound apiece. They have gone from a vague, are-you-kidding idea to a very real, very tiny little boy and girl. And my stomach... well, let's not even go there. It's only going to get worse. Fast!

For now, more waiting. I am glad for it though. Good things take time.

7 comments:

Erica said...

So, you know that it's a boy and girl or you're assuming?

Your post captures the feelings perfectly. I could have written it myself three years ago. Enjoy the next few months. Try not to wish the time away. When they're here, there will be days when you'll wish you could put them back in your stomach for a while for the convenience and ease of feeding and carrying. :)

Hewittfolks said...

They are a boy and a girl. :) We found out for sure (well, as sure as they can be) a few days ago.

Yeah, I'm not looking forward to being huge, but I know they're a whole lot easier to take care of while they're still in there!

Amanda said...

I agree with you both, but especially erica on the wishing it away part. They grow so quickly and it doesn't stop after you have them. Cherish every day and enjoy being pregnant, even in its "fatness", and every moment after they are born too...they don't stop growing and it is so sad. I have really had to remind myself of that this year...there are so many parts of it I want to be over, yet so many parts to cherish. Love you guys!

Gini said...

Once the waiting is over, the demanding begins....demanding to be fed, demanding to be changed, demanding to be held, demanding to be loved. It will be a great experience that will last a lifetime which sadly goes by way too quickly. Enjoy your pregnancy (including the backaches, the potty breaks, etc) Congratulations to you both. GINI

The Boyd Gang said...

Thanks, still about the same! I'm so excited that you are having a boy and a girl. Enjoy being pregnant. You'll miss them moving around inside of you. I know that sounds strange but it's true.

The Grigsbys said...

Hi! I found you through Page's blog and enjoyed reading your posts because it was not too long ago that I was feeling the exact same way. My twin boys are almost 4 months old now and it goes by way too fast! We wish you all the best for a healthy pregnancy. You just can't imagine the blessings that are in store for you!

:) Amy Grigsby

Vicki said...

I think of you every day, Lisa, and Scott, too. And pray for you both (I mean all four of you!). I love sharing in your thoughts and feelings about this most miraculous experience. As I read through the comments of others, the word "cherish" comes up frequently. It's a beautiful word. We cherish you all and are so grateful that God is holding you close during this brief moment in time.