a note of general appreciation

I was reading on a message board today--it's composed of a bunch of women who were due with babies in June. So now it's a bunch of mothers of babies around the same age as mine. Anyway, there was this thread where people were posting all the unwanted advice they'd gotten from people about how to raise babies. And I was stunned! People sure think some strange things. And I just wanted to thank the general public, since I've been relatively untouched by such odd tips. This may possibly be because I rarely leave the house. Or it could be the twin factor--people are generally struck by some sort of Idiot Hammer when they see two small babies at once. They tend toward saying things like, "Oh! Are they twins?" (duh) or "Oh, two boys?" (grr). Either way, I've escaped most of these comments. Here are some of the more incredible ones:

"when i was giving my toddler a sippy cup of milk (i think she was 2) someone told me to add an onuce of water to it or else she'd get 'milk worms'. i think she meant pin worms but i didn't ask.. i just ignored her."

"I couldn't believe this lady told me this but she said that I need to pull my baby out of the bath tub by her neck, not under her arms because I'll compress her rib cage. (Yes, this woman has children, and they are all alive and she was very serious)."

"i got told whenever my son wakes up for my husband and i to each take an arm and a leg and turn him counterclockwise so he will start sleeping at night instead of during the day."

"When I was a kid. I remember hearing that if a baby ever gets scared/shocked in order to reverse the shock you're supposed to spank them."

"I was once told by a family member not to breastfeed over a year because 'she'll know the breast is sexual and it will confuse her, causing homosexuality.' "

"I was told to turn my son's pjs inside out and hang a hard boiled egg in the doorframe to help him sleep at night."

"I had cut out dairy from my diet becuase my baby was having allergies. Great grandma said you're at least drinking milk, right? I replied, no, milk is dairy. She said but you need to drink milk to produce more milk for baby."

So, again--thanks to all you lovely people for NOT telling me any of these things.

Oh--and if anybody actually thinks these things are true... we may need to have a little chat.